Good Day, Beautiful People!
Real Love is rare and hard to find especially in this fallen world who only look at superficial and exterior. Agape Love is unconditional love that is given freely to us from heaven.
If you happen to have someone in your world that love you for who you really are is PRICELESS! You are truly blessed with the world of divorce rate rocking sky high even in the Christian Marriages.
Real love is consistent and commitment not conditional, not manipulative, controlling, abusive and narcissistic behaviour. Definitely not co-dependency living.
If you find yourself feeling numb, feeling the need to be so busy, so anxious, always need to fix things, always need to make your partner or spouse look good, can’t breathe, no appetite, walking on egg shells, can’t be your truth self. Stop that thinking there is something wrong with you. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG with YOU! Chances are you are living with a “monster” AKA Narcissist or Psychopath or Manipulator or Controller or all the above.
Never let anyone make you feel like you are dumb, useless, worthless, ugly, saying you are fat when you know your size 8, your clothes are getting bigger, you need to pull up your undies every 5 minute, keep comparing you with other people. If your spouse or partner constantly put you down in public eyes via jokes or humour in a way to belittle you is a big warning sign. He or she does not respect you. Someone who really love you and respect you will speak highly of you; sing your praises in public eyes and behind your back. He or she will always got your back. He will even defend you when your so called “bestie” spoke nasty and lies about you. The reason is you are the most significant person in his or her life. If he or she started to defend or protect the other person instead of you and complained you are the problem! Suddenly, You are the drama queen! Ladies even if you are wrong your man suppose to defend you not your friend according to psychology as you are suppose to be the significant half. Sadly, both of them are into something no matter what they try to hide or deny. Your so called bestie is a Jezebel who used by the enemy come to steal, kill and destroy your marriage. Of course, your weak man /woman falls into the trap happily. Is a huge ego trip for a mid life crisis man / woman suddenly has rare attention from a charming seducer. A woman instinct is never wrong; especially if she is walking so close with the Holy Spirit. He or she will argue that why you do not trust them but their behaviour towards you make you have the right to not trust them. People can said they never have affairs but affair starts from mind and heart. It never starts physical first which is difficult for worldly people or weak believers to fathom. The truth is You should never need to feel second best and fight for your man / woman attention and love. If he or she thinks after all the sacrifice you make all these years for the marriage is amount to nothing. He or she does not deserve you at all. It is a toxic relationship simply need to break off for your own good and sanity. The truth is narcissist does not how to love others than themselves. They treat their partner or spouse as sex object to use and chuck after they get sick and tired of them.
The reality is walking in Grace is way harder than walking in law.
“But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5.28 [under grace]
“You shall not commit adultery” Exodus 20.14 [ under law]
Most affairs have bigger possibility first start off as friends or workmates or boss. They can try fool you that their friendship is pure and even maybe because of you or trying to “help” you. They will never do something to hurt you yet every action they do constantly hurt you deeper and deeper. What they say and what they do never ever match up. The way they make you feel like a third wheel when you guys are having dinner. The way they gaze into each other eyes. The spark in their eyes when either one walk into the room. They constantly complain to each other how bad and crazy and bad a person you are! They progress into telling all their people and your people lies about you!
Out of sudden, you become this evil person that you never even know until someone close to you reveal to you that “I heard all these things from your spouse / partner about you!!!” It all became clear you are being played by two very controlling narcissists! In order to protect themselves and their covet relationship they have to portray you as that crazy bad guy.